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Rejoining the world

In two weeks I'll be starting a new job. I spent many months resisting getting a full-time job again, until I finally saw that that's actually what I wanted and I was resisting my own love. I have no idea why I want this, but something tells me it's that I want to be around people, interacting with them, participating in life. I had an idea over the last year that I should create a lot of space in my life for awakening to take over me and burn up all the pain and ego inside of me. I didn't know what that means, I just knew Jim did it, and he recommends it, and so I diligently set about creating this space. The way I did that was to not seek a full-time job, but instead to set up a consulting agreement where I could work from home and only work half time. This, I thought, would also give me time to get better physically. It definitely helped. And it has helped to have a paycheck again and to be using my brain again to feel a little bit more like I'm participating ...
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Gentleness

In this exploration into my food difficulties, I have come across many healing methods and traditions. Most of them point to stress as a source of health problems and what perpetuates them. Everyone has their idea about what to do, how to heal. What I have discovered for myself in this whole process comes down to gentleness. There's a gentleness I feel when I go inside, and I literally feel like a different person altogether when I stay connected with it. I wanted to write about it today. Chinese Medicine talks about yin and yang, and what I seem to have is an excess of yang and a deficit of yin. Yin being the feminine energy. So I have been making an effort to live more yin-like, and this sense of gentleness arises for me when I do let myself live yin-like. So what does this mean. More than anything, for me it means to be in the moment. It has always seemed to come down to that in my experience. As a contrast, when I am not in the moment, then my mind is occupied, busy, at work...
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Awakening Lessons

It's been a year and a half since my spiritual awakening. I am constantly learning new lessons with this growing clarity. Since my session with Jim on Sunday, I have been in a deeper space within myself where I'm feeling the peace that exists in presence. I'm also seeing my ego stories as they continue to babble on and on inside and as they continue to generate emotions and feelings. The person I actually am is very different from the person created by these ego stories and beliefs. Just earlier today I was driving from getting a root canal, and I was pretty upset because I was having buyers remorse: I had thought I needed it, but once I got it and paid for it and continued feeling pain, I was doubting that maybe my pain wasn't the tooth at all. The ego swooped in and started terrorizing me. I was driving in quite a bad mood. And then I remembered about awareness, and once I did, everything changed. My mood lifted, I became happy and peaceful, and my thoughts complet...
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